In the last fortnight I was contacted by a person with regards to personal coaching in human potential enhancement, which happens to be my area of expertise. This person came to me through a social networking website, where I regularly post my updates and blog posts.
The first question this person asked me, even before we had a chat on what I could offer him, was “Is it chargeable?”
I am writing this piece as a dedication to this person and many others who may wish to reach me, but hesitate to do so, for the very reason – the pricing of my services.
I offer my due respect to this person because I really think he has asked a marvellous question. Also, I wish to make clear that this piece is intended to be an awareness piece and is not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings in any way. On the contrary, it is intended to offer help to many others who may have similar thoughts going on in their minds.
I decided to write this piece because of the fact that delayed decision making is something that most human potential coaches talk about almost all of the time, but mostly people refrain from touching the topic of money.
The topic of money is perhaps the most sensitive issue in our lives. Still, we refrain from talking about it because this issue makes us highly uncomfortable. So, we have invented pathways to skirt this issue in the garb of decency. “It is impolite to ask a man about his income”, became the norm of decent and civilized living. This was obviously before women became the active earning members of the community. But when women started contributing economically to the society, the same norm became automatically applicable to them as well. I wonder why other rules did not start applying automatically to women in societies all over the world. But that is a topic for another discussion. Here we will focus only on the uncomfortable issue of money.
It would not be wrong to say that our lives revolve around the topic of money. Right from our morning cup of humble tea or coffee to our late night rendezvous at a lavish pub, everything comes at a certain price. We can enjoy only those things that we find ourselves capable of paying for. This is the reality of modern day living. Whether we shun discussing money or we prefer to turn our backs on it, the truth still remains that we extend our hands to receive only those products and services that we consider ourselves worthy of attaining. What we do not realize is that we hinder most of our chances of growth also by doing this.
Delaying making significant decisions that we know can prove extremely important to our progress because of money is something we all have done at some point in time or the other. We sometimes may lose on the opportunity but much more importantly we lose on the precious time. Remember, money will in any case get spent somewhere or the other, but the time lost will never ever be retrieved. The same time that can be utilized in moving forward in life and creating actual improvements translating into increase in money earning capabilities gets lost forever.
I am not suggesting for anyone to take massive and uncontrollable risks. Most people thankfully do not live that recklessly. I am saying rely on your natural instincts. Your inner self knows when you are making the right decision. I can help you in identifying them with better accuracy.
Most of the times when we wish to make expenditures solely for our selves; they are small expenditures as compared to what we incur for other things in our lives. Come to think of it, we often make a compromise only on the expenditures that can create progress for us. Is it because we do not consider ourselves worthy of success?
A big part of my services is to make people understand and change their self image, which governs all their results in life. This includes their relationship with money, which also governs their capability of earning money.
Also, for the record, all my services are not chargeable. Not because I do not like making money. I do. I like making money and have no hesitation in admitting this reality because more money not only means that I can create a better life for myself and my loved ones, but it also means that I can contribute more towards helping others.
Look for more on this topic as this one requires more space than one blog article. For now, just know that delaying reaching any decision because of the fear of the money involved is perhaps the most important of all of the fears and hence contributes towards maximum negative energy in most people’s lives. Still, ironically enough most people do not appreciate it, or rather do not wish to look into it fully. I am here to tell you that unless you face this issue you will never change your present results with money.
Watch out for more on money in my forthcoming articles.
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Recently, a friend came up to me and asked my expert opinion on how success has evaded him in his life. He said that he ‘knew’ he was unlucky because he always could only get to the 99% spot, and never make it to a 100% at anything in life. He was talking about both trivial, as well as grave matters in his life. He felt he never got what he was going after at that particular moment. And this has been a recurring theme in his life.
I asked him a simple question, “What do you really want?” And he was quick to tell me that it is a ‘relative’ thing. I repeated my question, with an emphasis, “Think and then tell what do you really want?” But he still evaded the most important aspect of this question…the thought part. And he kept on going on the same track of how things he want changed with time and how he could never attain what he wanted.
Amidst the barrage of his narration, I managed to make a small two-minute presentation to him regarding the basic concepts of functioning of the mind. But when I reached the most important aspect of the presentation, which in my experience makes most vociferous people go completely quiet and think, this person, had me stop, because I knew I would not make any further progress there. The point in my presentation where I start talking about the intellectual faculties of the mind is where all argumentative speech usually ends and the thought process starts. But not with this man. He was adamant in defending his point of view that he was ‘clear’ in his mind that he was ‘unlucky’.
The bottom-line that he did not see at all was that he tried to evade the question, “What do you really want?” He covered it up with baseless argument but never took the time to answer the question, or even think about it.
This is the ground reality. Most people never think about what they really want. They settle down in life for what they feel they can get based on their past results, or the results of people whom they come in contact with. But they never give serious thought to what they really want.
Why is it so? The reason is that thinking makes us uncomfortable. Now, some people may say that I have gone off my rocker. We think all the time. Don’t we? And the answer is, “No, we don’t.”
Thinking is a conscious activity, and not some involuntary process that goes on in the mind.
Most people cannot differentiate when they do active thinking from when they are just indulging in involuntary mental activity. This is because they never think consciously. And when a question is popped in front of them, which demands that they think, they evade the answer because it makes them uncomfortable. They are so used to the cosy comfort of involuntary mental activity of thought that active thinking makes them uneasy. They have the capacity to think but never use it because of the discomfort it generates.
Little do they realize that this is one of the biggest contributors of negative energy in their lives. Not knowing what you really want makes you directionless. It also makes you argumentative because you know deep in your heart that you are directionless and do not want others to see you this way. This makes you collect a lot of trivial information because it makes you seem knowledgeable. There are several other manifestations to this malady.
Think about it. “What do you really want?” Then go about answering truthfully. Remember, if you cannot be truthful even to yourself, who else can you ever be truthful to?
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We talk about eliminating negative energy from our lives all the time. All the people in human potential coaching and personal development talk about this. Come to think of it, we are surrounded by information that can help us grow, if we really wish to. There is plenty of information available on removing negative and introducing positive thoughts. Search for the shelves on your local bookstore. There are books available on “How to…” of every kind that is conceivable to a person. Trust me; there are books available on topics that are not even conceivable to most people.
Every day we meet people who talk about having more of positive thoughts in life. They may be our bosses, or our teachers, or our friends, or someone else, and then they go about sharing some sort of gossip about someone who is known to you as well as to them. Is this behaviour not totally antagonistic to what they advocate?
I came across an elderly lady recently, who is a friend of my mother. I was meeting her after a long time. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, she went into a long discourse about how she recently overcame an illness just on the power of her ‘positive thoughts’. She rambled on for good about fifteen minutes as to how her ‘inner power’ helped her get rid of her knee-joint pains, preaching to me to incorporate positive thinking in my life so that I could have a better life.
This was all so far so good. Then I asked her about her daughter-in-law, who is about my age, and had attended the same college as me. She is quite well known to me from earlier days, so I know that she is a great person with a fantastic outlook in life. She and I have also kept in touch regularly through social networking sites so I know that she had only changed for the better. But the mother-in-law had a different opinion. Yes, you guessed it right. Her next discourse was on how her daughter-in-law had left no stone unturned in making her life miserable by her ‘modern attitudes’.
However the icing on the cake still was – how her own ‘positive thinking’ made her a winner in every domestic battle she has had.
This small episode made me think in a big way. How many times we ourselves indulge in maligning others through gossip? This may be done with simple intentions, and actually makes us feel better about ourselves. Many-a-times, it gets us a few laughs and we feel that no harm gets done to anyone. But is it really so?
What about the energy that we are sending out to the universe? If the natural laws are what they are, and they do what they do, they must give us back all the energy that we send out. So, even though we may feel that we are in a ‘positive’ state of mind, when we gossip, we send malicious energy out, and it must then return to us.
The real essence of any change lies in doing what we know and not just knowing what to do.
There is a great lot of gossip all around us. Let us start by curtailing it before we can boast of having positive thinking.
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